Sympathy card verses can be the most difficult messages to write. The empty space on the card can scare you when it looks back at you. Both you and the card say nothing more and look for the other to start the conversation. Here you can find out what you can say on a condolence card and also find some examples of condolence cards.
Knowing a person who is experiencing a loss can be difficult, and finding out what to say to that person can be the hardest thing. The choice is yours. You can write something supportive, encouraging, or meaningful. Make your message honest and profound. Read on to learn more about how and what to say in a sympathy card.
Go with a simple or blank card
Do away with the idea of sending a sympathy card with a very long printed message. Most people use cards made from printed cards that are available in stores to avoid writing them themselves, but a simple sympathy card with a more personal, handwritten message means much more to that person. It allows you to personalize the card and proves that you have taken the time to communicate your sympathy in a meaningful and caring way.
Personally hand-write your thoughts
This may sound obvious, but in the age of text messaging and email, most people look to electronic means. Please do not make this mistake. Many people keep all the condolence cards they receive and find comfort in looking back on them when they mourn. Sending an email, an SMS via mobile phone, or Facebook is just not the same. You can certainly do it, but you can also send a personally handwritten condolence card.
Think about the character of your friend
Trust your convictions when choosing a sympathy card. If the person receiving your card is spiritually inclined, a card with encouraging phrases from the Bible may be a good choice.
Mention the person who passed away
This may sound pretty simple for bereavement, but people’s sympathy cards focus very much on the pain of the recipient. However, most mourning people say that receiving a card with a personal memory actually helps them heal, so it can be very useful to share a special memory or thought about the deceased person with others. If you do not have a personal relationship with the dead person, do not worry, and do not bother to make up a memory. But be aware that your message will be valued on the condolence card.
Offer to help in a particular way
Mourners need help and will appreciate the support. People who are in mourning often do not call for help because they do not want to become a burden. In fact, it helps to volunteer to help in a special way: (I would be happy to mow the lawn for you this month; I would be happy to pick up Sam from school every day for a few weeks).
Decide to send out an anniversary card
Sympathy cards are received in very large numbers when someone kicks the bucket. Even a year later, many people who are mourning are still confronted with a heartbreaking silence. In reality, very few people remember the anniversary or remember to get in touch with them again next year. When you write your condolence card, plan to send another one next year on the first anniversary. Note the date on a calendar so that you can remember it. Send the condolence card to your friend or loved one to let them know that you are thinking of them and still remember them. This special gift indicates that you are aware that their journey into heartbreak is still hard and that you are there for them.
Sincere sympathy card messages
I’m sorry you lost your father. I’ve never written a condolence card before, so I don’t really know what to say. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
I hope you understand that when people write in a card, “I am sorry for your loss,” it is only because they cannot put words together to describe what they want to express to you at this time. With this in mind, I am sorry for your loss.
Sympathy card examples
1. I can’t think of anything I can say to make it all better. I want you to know that I love you, and I’m available to talk.
2. I know I can’t fix the pain you’re feeling. I want you to know that I feel with you, think of you and would do anything to help you.
3. I couldn’t possibly understand what you’re feeling. I want to offer you my deepest sympathy. I’m ready to listen.
4. I know that although you have suffered a loss, you still have some great memories. I hope that these memories will give you comfort.
5. I am struggling to find the right words to support you. Please accept my condolences.
6. There is nothing I can say to help you in your time of grief. I know that you will always carry __________ in your heart.
7. I wish I could tell you all the right words. All I can say is that I am sorry for your loss and that I want you to know that you mean a lot to me.
8. Please accept my condolences at this difficult time. I want you to know that you’re in my prayers.
9. I know that there is nothing I can say or do to make things right Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
10. I wish I could do more than express my sympathy for you. Please let me know how I can help you. Know that I’m here if you need anything and that I love you.
Suggestions on sympathy card sayings
- Don’t try to tell the person how they feel. For example: “I know you probably feel terrible and angry at the world”. It is best to assume that you do not know how the person feels.
- Do not write about your own problems. If you have ever lost someone, you can mention something that helped you. But avoid really mentioning your own experiences in the sympathy message. Save stories when you talk to the person.
- Never mention a debt or something that was borrowed from you. If someone has borrowed or owes you money, have the decency to wait a few weeks before asking the family. Unless, of course, you think they will sell it or claim it as their property. Even then, consider the money or borrowed item as a gift of compassion.
- Don’t insert God’s judgments like, “It was his time to go, all is well,” or “He has lived a good life and is in heaven.” You will not know what is going through the mind of the survivor, and you are not God.
- Always stay positive. A tactless sympathy card message that is positive is better than a negative message that is eloquently written.
- When in doubt, make your message shorter, not longer. The more you write, the more likely you are to offend someone. Short is good. Keep to the point.
- If you offer to help someone, knowing that they will go through a difficult time, tell the person how you want to help. This will prevent the person from asking you to do something that you do not want to do. Also, the likelihood that the person will actually ask you for help is low, so tell them that you will call them.
