Men are from Mars and women from Venus. When it comes to relationships and dating, this old phrase rings true. What men and women look for in a date and their feelings about the person they go on a date with can be totally opposing. So you cannot expect to “just click” with someone you have just met. But certain behavioral patterns can help you decide whether or not you will hit it off with the person sitting across the table with you on your first date.
We will tell you about the little things you can do on the date that can help you connect with each other and create intimacy without you appearing desperate or vulnerable. Read on.
Tips To Choose the Perfect Partner on Your First Date
1. Ask the Right Questions
Rule no. 1: Don’t ask stupid questions like “Why are you still single?” unless you want to come across as an idiot. It suggests that you feel there’s something seriously wrong with being single. So if you are on a date with someone and they seem great and single, do NOT ask them to explain their status. To create the right vibe, ask interesting questions that will help you know them better rather than grill them with mundane questions that sound like an interrogation.
“What’s your dream vacation?” and “Who in your family do you get along with best?” sound like good questions to ask once you get past the “What do you do?” and “What are you looking for in a relationship?” stage.
2. Let Them Know You Are Enjoying Yourself
A sincere “I am enjoying this conversation” will convince them that you are not bored. When they share an anecdote from their life, follow up with simple questions that show you were actually listening. Respond with expressions of surprise and amusement to make them more comfortable with sharing personal details about their life. You also have to open up to them about yourself. By sharing a small story about your life or trading some personal information, you are sending the message that you trust the other person.
Even if you aren’t enjoying much, don’t make it apparent. Communicating how you feel about the date is honesty, but telling them straight up that you are bored is being rude. You can do this in other subtle and non-hurtful ways. Faking an emergency and a got-to-go situation wouldn’t hurt anybody. Take a cue from Barney Stinson’s “call from the hospital” trick on How I Met Your Mother and you will know what we mean! (Wink, wink)
3. Don’t Be Afraid to Have Some Fun
If a fun idea strikes you in the middle of the date, ask them how they feel about it. If you are having a conversation about food and your date tells you they love chocolate fudge, tell them about that amazing place you know that sells delicious choco-fudge ice-cream. Take them there after dinner. Be spontaneous just as you would be with a friend and don’t hesitate in trying new things.
If you have had enough conversations with them before you decided to meet in person, then you must have some idea about their hobbies. In case there is something that interests both of you, you can ditch the generic date ideas (dinner and drinks) to try something else. Maybe book tickets to a movie both of you want to see. Or something else that gives you a chance to get to know each other better.
4. Ask for Permission before You Kiss Them
If your date is going well, a kiss may be on the cards. The best kiss is the result of an emotional connection between the two of you. So take it easy. There is no hard and fast rule to kiss your first date. You are meeting this person for the first time, so don’t make them feel like you are thinking only about the physical aspects. Don’t startle them by saying something unexpected if you see the probability of a relationship with your date. But if you trust your instincts and decide to kiss your date, ask first and be polite when kissing. Nobody wants a tongue in their mouth without some discretion in the first meeting.
5. Tell Them When You Disagree with Them
It’s okay to say no to date ideas that you truly hate. Your date wouldn’t like it either if they learn way too late that you didn’t like the restaurant you went to. It can be embarrassing for them to know that you hated the date that they planned for you. The same goes for conversations and opinions. If you are talking about an issue and you feel completely the other way, tell them politely that you disagree with them. You don’t want to agree to everything they say and come across as desperate or someone who doesn’t have an opinion of their own.
To summarize, you should know that first dates aren’t going to be perfect every time. While things will not be as bad as spilling food on yourself (or your date to make it worse!), but there may be times when the conversation will get awkward or turn into a heated argument. You can prepare yourself by shunning the idea that “this has to turn into something meaningful” to begin with. A date is about two people coming together, interacting, connecting and creating experiences. So take it easy and go with the flow. And more than anything else, have fun!
Author Bio: Sandy Funches is a freelance writer who enjoys writing. Writing is of utmost importance to her as doing so helps her educate people by spreading her knowledge of women’s health, sex, relationship and lifestyle.